Recommended Reading: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

I was reading this book again - The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and I decided to share out with you here. Although this book primarily focuses on reviving spouse relationship, the underlying theory can be applied to any relationships, including parent-child relationship. Besides, I believe that good, loving relationship between the parents lays the foundation of a happy family, which is important for the children.

To summarize, all of us express love in many different ways, and this can be categorized into the following "five love languages" - Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. Out of five, we have one (or two) "primary" language in which we express our love primarily using that language. We also perceive love from others more easily when it is expressed with our primary language. When two parties speak different languages, they cannot feel the love from each other no matter how hard they try. Understanding and learning the primary language of the other party (be it our spouse or child) enables us to express our love much more effectively and enhance the relationship. It also reduces the feeling and misunderstanding that the other party doesn't love us.

A person whose primary love language is Words of Affirmation loves to hear positive words of encouragement, appreciation and praising in order to feel loved.

A person whose primary love language is Quality Time needs undivided attention. It means setting some specific time for activities together like talking(no TV in between!), going for a walk, picnic, playing games etc.

A person whose primary love language is Receiving Gifts enjoys the excitement of receiving gifts and values the gifts. It does not have to be something expensive as long as it comes with a thought. It can be handmade, it can also be intangible like your presence at some occasions.

Acts of Service includes doing house chores, running errands and helping with anything that the other party values.

Physical Touch could be hugs, kisses, holding hands, a pat on the shoulder etc.

Sometimes we may do everything to express our love but miss out the primary language of the other party, and just because of that the other party will perceive that we don't love him/her! Thus it is important to understand and speak the love language of the person you love so that you can communicate your love effectively and build a loving relationship.

Obviously from a short passage I can only tell you a little about this book's content. I strongly recommend this book as it surely is a very good resource to improve relationships. It's very easy to read and you will not be able to take your hands off the book once you started. :) You can also check out other variations of this book including "The Five Love Languages of Children" and "The Five Love Languages of Teenagers", which are more specific and related to the topic parenting. Happy reading!