Recommended Reading: Personality Plus

I read this book Personality Plus for Parents by Florence Littauer in a confinement center after I delivered my first baby. I found it so interesting that I bought myself a copy and read it from time to time.

This book explains 4 major types of personality: Sunny Sanguine, Controlling Choleric, Meticulous Melancholy, and Pleasant Phlegmatic. Each personality represents a unique character, and each pair of personality (whether similar or different) when being put together creates a different type of relationship. The book touches on the possible scenarios and challenges, focusing specifically on parenting (right from the infancy stage) and cites many good examples.

As the name suggests, Sunny Sanguine is popular; s/he is the extrovert, the talker, the optimist. People who belong to this group long for attention and approvals, look for fun, excitement and hate dull tasks and routines. They are good in charming their parents and negotiating.

Controlling Choleric is the "commander" who is always strong-willed and wants his/her way followed. Decisive and stubborn, they tend to focus on getting things done, and may offend others. They are self-confident, aggressive and responsible.

Meticulous Melancholy is the perfectionist with high standards. They are generally the deep thinkers and good students. Dutiful and responsible, they are sensitive to others and may get depressed more easily.

Pleasant Phlegmatic is the least demanding of all. They are very compromising and mediate problems to avoid trouble. They have a casual attitude and tend to procrastinate.

By reading this book, I was able to identify the personality of my family members and understand better why they act in a certain way in some situations. As parents, it is good to
- understand our children's weaknesses and help them manage those weaknesses,
- know what to watch out as the children grow up,
- master the skills to effectively communicate with them,
- learn how to "tick" with them, and
- find out how to manage the similarity and differences between us.
As a result, we can better guide our children to the "correct" path.

We should accept our children as who they are and not forcing them to become like us. I believe that a healthy relationship between a parent and a child is a loving one with mutual understanding, trust and respect. I hope my children will always share with me their thoughts and problems they face. I am not trying to help them solve all their problems (sometimes they need to learn by themselves) but in the least I can be their listener and share their joy and pain together. I would want to be a friend my children can always turn to.

I highly recommend this book to parents who want to understand their children more and maintain a close relationship with them.

Love and respect are the most important prospects in any relationships (Jodie Foster).